


Dancing in the Moonlight

by Aurelia Jade (sun_moon_and_stars)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes deserves love and learns self-care, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional healing and recovery, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Winter Soldier is a chaotic disaster and adorably so, Typical Marvel Cinematic Universe drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:32:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22914037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sun_moon_and_stars/pseuds/Aurelia%20Jade
Summary: This is the story of how James Buchanan Barnes meets a charming girl who considers herself “really nothing special” but is brilliant and kind and sweet. He’s taken by the fact that when they meet, she has no idea who he is, has never even heard of the Winter Soldier. And even after she finds out the truth about him, she sees more than just his past, and he learns about self-care and not letting guilt and shame call the shots. He slowly learns how to forgive and let go of the past, and that it’s more than okay to love himself and someone else... Despite always drawing the short straws.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	1. A Welcome Distraction

Bucky Barnes’ entire world came to life the day he met her. 

It wasn’t easy, being frozen and awakened so many times it had taken a toll on the Winter Soldier’s mind and body. This was the last time, however, because Shuri had figured out how to rid Bucky’s mind of the triggers that made him into a lethal weapon. Now he was on the mend and part of his rehabilitation was routine checks back at the lab where Shuri could run the proper tests. Today was one of those days. 

The young genius had just instructed Bucky to sit on the end of the exam table, she wanted to check the range of motion he had with his new Vibranium arm. Bucky knew she could very well have conducted this same test out at his farm where he preferred to be, but she had made her case and he obliged. He’d just shrugged out of his blue short-sleeved t-shirt and popped a squat on the end of the exam table, pulling an annoyed groan from the 18-year-old. 

“Must you always sit like that?” She asked, throwing his balled-up t-shirt back at his face. 

“Yes, I find it comfortable. Plus, it allows me the leverage I need to jump into action at a moment’s notice should the need arise.” The brunette laughed, catching the garment in his right hand. 

“Were you born in a barn?” She retorted playfully. 

Before he could offer a good-natured insult of his own, _she_ appeared out of nowhere and caught him off guard. 

Serenity Grace Corbyn waltzed right into the lab a whirlwind of laughter in a crystal blue sundress, leaving Bucky at a loss for words. He sat in stunned silence, literally biting the tip of his tongue as his head jerked up to search for the origin of such a beautiful sound. Music. That’s how Bucky would describe the young woman’s laugh; the perfect melody to a song he’d been desperately trying to finish writing for over 75 years. 

He watched quietly as she greeted Shuri. 

“Shuri! Nakia told me you would be hard at work here. She said you were with a patient.” The woman’s voice rang through the lab, and Bucky swore it was the sound of sunshine. She pulled the young scientist into a hug. Once she stepped back, she caught sight of the man squatting on the exam table behind her friend. “Oh! Please, don’t let me interrupt.” 

“Actually,” Shuri paused, turning to the monitor next to her. “This, or rather he, is the reason I asked you here.” 

Bucky and Serenity both watched in silence as Shuri pulled up the schematics on his Vibranium arm, smiling proudly at her work. She then turned to the awestruck man and grinned, she shook her head. _She planned this._ He considered quietly. Shuri was always telling him that once he healed and his recovery satisfied her, he should think about putting himself out there, meeting someone. She insisted that a romantic partner would “increase his quality of life”. Bucky insisted that it was all just a load of horseshit. Until Serenity appeared out of thin air. 

“What’s the matter?” Shuri asked, breaking through Bucky’s thoughts. “Panther got your tongue?” She guffawed. 

A heavy silence descended upon the lab. Bucky was acutely aware of how he sat perched on the exam table, shirtless for the world to see. He looked up, meeting Serenity’s gaze. She was staring rather intensely at his body, igniting a fire under his skin. The heated reaction was foreign to him, yet he found a familiar sense of comfort in it, in her. 

“Ahem.” Shuri cleared her throat beside the speechless pair. Her plan already having the desired effect. 

“I-I’m Serenity C-Corbyn,” she stuttered, pulling her eyes from the muscles of his chest. A light blush dusted the apples of her cheeks as she extended her left hand to him. 

Bucky smiled softly. _She’s adorable._ He thought briefly. He noted the way she’d held out her left hand to him without hesitation. Hadn’t she noticed the prosthetic arm? If she had, she didn’t make it obvious to either of them. 

“Serenity, this Bu-” Shuri started. 

“Uh, James,” Bucky quickly cut her off. He readjusted his position and sat on his butt, leaning forward slightly and placing his left hand in Serenity’s. The soft pressure on the Vibranium extremity was oddly comforting. “James Brooks.” He ignored the confused stare Shuri shot him and gave the young woman in front of him a polite nod of his head. _Really, that’s the best you could do?_ He scolded internally, praying Serenity wouldn’t catch the awkward exchange between him and Shuri. 

“Nice to meet you, James.” Her voice was smooth. 

“The pleasure is all mine, doll.” The name slipped from Bucky’s lips with ease, the last time he’d used that was in the 1930s with a girl he didn’t like. For having just met her, he liked Serenity, and she was cute. She was sweet and she didn’t seem to know anything about him. 

Her reply was a soft smile as she took a step closer toward the exam table, her small hand still gently tucked in Bucky’s metal one. She gestured with her free hand toward his shoulder, “May I?” He nodded. 

Bucky’s eyes followed Serenity’s movements, they were fluid, graceful. She slowly reached for his arm with both hands, and he realized he missed the pressure of holding her hand in his. That was new. She deftly moved her fingers along the cold Vibranium until they met with flesh. For once, Bucky didn’t flinch. Serenity’s hands were warm against the skin of his shoulder, a feeling he missed. He couldn’t remember the last time he let someone get that close to his arm without flinching, without looking at him with pity swimming in their eyes. Serenity’s care was a breath of fresh air for the Winter Soldier, and it surprised him to find how good it felt. He continued to watch the way she softly massaged the spot where flesh turned to metal, allowing himself to relax under her touch. His eyes fluttered, then shut. 

It wasn’t until Shuri cleared her throat again, looking between the two of them, that Bucky realized Serenity had pulled away. When he finally looked up, he found her half-turned away from him to the monitor with the schematics on it, a pensive look in her own eyes. For a moment, he wondered what he’d done while zoned out, and if it had caused the awkward tension that now floated around the lab. It was palpable, stifling, Bucky almost choked on the surrounding air. What was this new sensation and why couldn’t he figure out how to handle it? 

He reached out, grasping at Serenity’s arm before his momentum continued to pull him forward and he toppled from the exam table. _Thud!_ Bucky hit the ground hard, pulling Serenity down with him. He’d have to remember to apologize for that. His chest was on fire, his shoulder hurt. Bucky felt like he was suffocating. Looking up, the walls of the lab seemed to close in. He couldn’t recall the last time it had happened, or if it ever had. His mind clouded with things he hadn’t thought about in almost a year. 

“Bucky?” Shuri softly questioned. She approached the man where he lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, but stopped when Serenity held up her hand. 

“Hey, James. It’s Serenity. I’m right here in front of you.” He could hear Serenity’s sweet voice somewhere close by and tried his best to focus in on it. She sounded far away. “You’ll be alright, James. You’re safe, okay?” She was talking to him in the same tone Steve had used a few times before, whenever nightmares plagued his mind. “Breathe, James. Don’t worry about anything else, just breathe.” 

She was back enough that Bucky had the space to breathe without their proximity being stifling, but close enough that he could still make out the words she spoke. Between hyperventilating breaths, Bucky noted two things: one, was that Serenity seemed much less concerned about the fall she’d just taken and more concerned for his well-being, and two, she had her right hand out to the side, palm parallel with the ground. It was as if she were signaling for something or someone, and despite the panic that had settled itself deep in Bucky’s chest, it intrigued him. 

The woman snapped her fingers, once, twice, and softly jerked her head to the left. “ _Veni_ ,” she said firmly, but her voice never rose above the quiet tone she’d used before. 

Shuffling behind Bucky caused him to startle, and a small clinking sound met his ears. The overstimulation of noise was too much for him to handle and he folded in on himself further. He pulled his knees to his chest, locking himself in an invisible protective barrier. 

“ _Stai_.” Serenity spoke again, a firm command. The movement behind Bucky ceased. Serenity moved slightly, positioned herself directly within his line of sight, and paused. “I’m going to place my left hand on your right arm, okay?” As she gave him the gentle warning, her hand rose slowly and softly wrapped around the bicep of his upper right arm. He flinched at the contact, but only just. Her eyes moved from his face to somewhere just behind his body, she nodded and opened her hand once again. “ _Iarnă, ve_ _ni_.” 

Bucky’s heavy breathing momentarily hitched when he felt something soft and thick brush against his arm. He looked up at Serenity, pupils blown wide, irises thin rings of blue as his eyes darted back and forth. The creature beside him lowered slowly at Serenity’s command, causing Bucky to bristle. A small sound akin to a whimper moved past his lips, fear rose and mingled with the panic he was already drowning in. He wanted to speak; he wanted to run, but he could neither talk nor move. Rooted in place, downed by the overwhelming sense of anguish, Bucky mentally cursed himself. The only comfort he could draw on was the beautiful girl in front of him, alert and ready to jump into action if he needed her to. 

He tried to swallow past the embarrassment forming a lump in his throat at the thought of causing such a big scene in front of Shuri and a complete stranger. Hot tears stung his eyes, shame cast a dark shadow over his features. How could he explain what had just happened? What would Serenity think of him now? Why was she being so kind to him? So many things swirled in his mind, fighting to escape, but Bucky held them back. All he could do to keep from bursting into tears on the floor was stare at the pattern of yellow daisies on Serenity’s dress. 

“ _Ușor_.” Her voice met his ears again, calm and warm. “James, this is my service dog, Iarnă. If he makes you uncomfortable, I can move him back.” 

Bucky shook his head, slowly dropping his arm from around his knees and placing a shaky hand into the silvery fur at his side. The dog didn’t move from his spot, his head remained on top of his front paws, eyes fixed on Serenity’s face. Bucky felt a sense of calm wash over him, adding to the comfort he had already gained from having Serenity close by. 

He wasn’t sure when the tears and shaking had stopped, wasn’t sure how long they’d been sitting on the floor, wasn’t sure what he’d even say to explain the whole thing. All he knew was that he was grateful for the pretty girl who tore through the lab, a tornado of laughter in a crystal blue sundress. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for a good redemption arc. I'm also a sucker for one chaotic disaster soldier by the name of James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes.
> 
> Translations: Romanian
> 
> Veni - Come
> 
> Stai - Stay
> 
> Iarnă, veni - Winter, come
> 
> Ușor - Easy


	2. Serenity Grace

Bucky trudged along slowly, following behind Serenity in a daze. He tucked his hand inside Iarnă’s fur as he used the German Shepherd for support staying upright. The panic attack had taken a lot of his energy and now, he just wanted to be back on his farm. Shuri had offered the two of them one of the many spare rooms at the palace, the least she could do to help, but he politely declined. Serenity assured her she and Iarnă would see to it that the soldier got home safely, and that was enough for her. 

The fresh air helped Bucky relax, the cool breeze bit back the heat radiating off of his body. He was safe; he knew that much. The pain he’d felt earlier had subsided; he wasn’t quite ready to tell anyone that he’d been experiencing phantom limb pains again. In a way, Bucky believed he rightly deserved the torment his mind was under, he had to atone for the sins of his past somehow. At that thought, he quickly pulled his hand from the large dog’s fur, forgetting that his Vibranium arm was now nestled inside the protective case in Serenity’s hands. The sudden movement threw him off balance and he staggered to the left, realizing too late that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from falling. 

“ _În_ _stânga_ _lui_ _!_ ” Serenity commanded quickly. Her left hand shot out and grabbed onto Bucky’s wrist, while Iarnă appeared at his other side in the blink of an eye. “ _Aștepta_ _!_ ” The dog planted himself firmly against Bucky’s left side and gently pushed against his body while Serenity pulled him toward her. In no time, the two of them had Bucky standing straight again, and they resumed their trek, continuing down the hill toward his hut. The small herd of goats just beyond the fence are what Serenity noticed first. “Goats?” 

Bucky shrugged. “They keep me busy.” 

He led them past the fence to the small hut, stopping at the door and sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck with his right hand. He hadn’t been home in a few days and couldn’t quite remember the state he’d left everything in, he didn’t want Serenity’s first impressions of him to be misguided because he’d not only had a panic attack on the same day she met him but had also invited her over to a complete mess. He glanced at the ground and back up at Serenity. “I, uh... I apologize in advance for the mess. I haven’t been home.” 

Serenity giggled; Bucky smiled at the sound. “I think I can handle a bit of a mess.” She held up the case with his arm in it and gestured toward the hut. “Sunset isn’t for another four or five hours. We could put this inside and then you can show me your goats!” The same light blush from that morning graced her cheeks again as she looked down at the ground. “I-If you want to...” 

“I would love to,” he replied quickly. He drew back the curtain over the entryway and politely ushered Serenity and Iarnă inside. The hut’s interior was simplistic but cozy. He watched Serenity gently lay the case down next to the bedroll on the floor and turn to face him. He stood with an awkward smile, his right hand going to the back of his neck again. She hummed as their eyes met. “You’re staring,” he quietly observed. 

“Nervous tic?” She asked, mirroring the gesture he’d made with her own hand. 

“I guess so,” he answered. Bucky dropped his hand back to his side, his fingers brushed against the soft fur of Iarnă’s head. He knelt down next to the dog and scratched behind his ears. “ _Mulțumesc, Iarnă_.” 

“You speak Romanian?” Serenity pulled her eyebrows together, tilting her head to the side. 

“And Russian and some German. You trained him in Romanian?” 

“Mmm, French and German too.” 

Bucky had wanted to ask why, but thought better of it, noting the distant look of pain in Serenity’s soft brown eyes. It was a look he knew all-too-well, the reminder of one’s inability to do the things they’d once planned. He’d only just met this woman and yet, next to Steve, she was quickly proving to be the easiest person to be around. He settled for getting to know more about her before diving deep into her personal space. With one last scratch behind the German Shepherd’s ears, Bucky stood. “How about we visit with the goats for a little while?” 

The smile returned to Serenity’s lips, she nodded happily. “Lead the way.” 

For hours Bucky and Serenity sat under the tree just beyond the fence, baby goats would come and go, nudging their tiny heads against Bucky’s thighs now and then. A talkative little white one with brown spots had taken a liking to Serenity, softly bleating at her while it lay curled up in her lap. That one, Bucky told her, had never let no one close to him until then. Her response was a shy smile as she tickled the baby under its chin. 

Bucky couldn’t wait any longer, there were questions swirling around his mind that he wanted the answers to. He busied himself with dragging his fingers through Iarnă’s fur, looking out at the horizon as the sun began to set. “How did you know what to do before? This morning, back at the lab?” 

He hadn’t meant for the question to appear as harsh as it did, luckily Serenity didn’t seem to mind. She shrugged and that faraway look returned to her eyes. She sighed. “I’ve become rather familiar with panic attacks over the last few years.” 

“You have panic attacks?” He blurted without considering his question. _You idiot, you can’t just ask her that._ The little voice in the back of Bucky’s mind scolded him instantly. “I-I’m sorry. That was rude of me.” 

Serenity chuckled. “Please, don’t apologize, it’s okay. It’s one of the reasons I have Iarnă.” 

“One?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“How did you recognize what was happening before I did?” 

“The way your body went rigid when we fell.” 

Bucky tensed slightly; he had no idea how bad the incident was until then. He vaguely remembered it starting, but the only thing he could recall was the sound of Serenity’s voice in front of him during the attack. Embarrassment flooded his body and his cheeks turned pink. He looked away from her face. He was used to being misunderstood, used to people judging him without getting to know him first. He wouldn’t blame Serenity if she wanted nothing to do with him now. They’d only just met and he’d already lost his grip on reality. He wasn’t sure how, but he knew he had to make it up to her. 

“James?” Serenity called, capturing his attention once more. He turned to her. “You want to ask about Iarnă and me, don’t you?” 

He groaned; the blush of his cheeks darkened. “Is it that obvious?” 

“It is, but I don’t mind. You can ask,” her smile eased his discomfort. 

“How long have you had him?” 

“Two years today, actually.” 

“And you trained him in French, German, and Romanian?” 

“Yeah, I always wanted to travel. But after my accident...” 

“You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.” 

Bucky studied her face, he noted the way she’d gone completely still, her body rigid. She was looking everywhere except at him. _That must be her nervous tic._ He wondered silently. She seemed distracted, more so than she had back at the lab. Something was bothering her, but he didn’t know what. He considered the pain laced in her voice as she said accident, he wanted to know what it was; he wanted to help her feel comfortable again. He missed the sound of her laugh, missed seeing her smile and the way it reached her eyes. _She’s hurting, too. You’re not the only one._ Before he could talk himself out of it, he reached forward and gently laid his right hand over hers, offering a kind smile. 

Serenity’s gaze shifted to their hands in her lap, Bucky’s thumb traced soft circles on the back of her left one. She took a deep breath and spoke quietly. “I’ve always had a little anxiety, you know? Everyone does. I guess over the years, it just became a little harder to manage. I was with an ex-boyfriend of mine; we were on our way home. We stopped at a red light and when it was our turn to go, a car in the opposite turn lane went at the same time. They hit us head-on in the driver’s side door, and little old sports cars don’t always have passenger side airbags, so I had to stop myself from flying into the dashboard.” She paused, took another shaky breath, and returned her eyes to the horizon. “After that, my anxiety just grew. And then one night before I left him, we got into an argument, I said something that pissed him off and he took a sharp left turn. He slammed on the breaks and I caught myself on the dashboard again. I was lucky my seatbelt was working or... I would have gone through the windshield. I’m not afraid of cars. I just don’t enjoy being a passenger in them.” 

Bucky’s eyes were wide as he listened to her finish her story. He couldn’t explain the strong flood of emotions he was feeling. His hand repeatedly flexed against Serenity’s, his fingers opened and closed around hers. “I can’t imagine...” 

“The panic attacks started shortly after,” she continued on in a rush. “Traveling was out of the question. I left him, moved in with two of my best friends. It took a long time for me to be okay on my own again. When I moved out, I got Iarnă. I needed help to manage my attacks, remember to take my meds, even daily tasks that should be easy for me to do. My memory isn’t the best. Pain keeps me from getting out of bed most days. And I don’t do well alone or in large crowds of people, or in unfamiliar places. Iarnă’s trained to notice the smallest changes in my behavior and react, he can sense when I’m distressed. He was standing behind you when we fell, he responded to you as he would with me, and that’s when I figured out what to do.” 

Bucky stared at the dog as he streaked by them after a small group of baby goats, he had let him run off a while ago. “Has he ever done that for someone else before?” 

She shook her head. “No, never. I mean, it’s what he’s trained for, he always sticks to my side. I keep his vest on me at all times, but he’s usually off duty when we visit Wakanda. He doesn’t take to strangers easily either. There’s something about you, James.” 

“Thank you for letting him help me,” he said calmly. 

“You don’t have to thank me, James. I know what it’s like to feel trapped, a prisoner in your own mind. I’m glad I could offer you an escape. When you’re ready to talk about it—whatever it is—Iarnă and I will be here.” 

Bucky smiled. To most people, it would seem like such a small gesture in the grand scheme of things, but to him it meant the world. He’d gotten used to suffering in silence and he could tell Serenity had to, but she’d opened up to him. He wondered how she’d made it this far, he knew Iarnă was a huge part of that, but there was something else he couldn’t put his finger on. _If she can face her demons and win, maybe I can, too._ It was a fleeting thought. He sat there with her hand tucked inside his own, they watched the sun dip below the hills. For the first time since Shuri had freed his mind from the triggers that turned him into the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes had hope. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: Romanian
> 
> În stânga lui - To his left
> 
> Aștepta - Wait
> 
> Mulțumesc, Iarnă - Thank you, Winter


End file.
